July 24th, 2006

Subject: Update Time: 09:19 pm Current Mood: tired

Yea, i havent updted this in a while so im going to rigth now... Today was the third whole day in a row that i havent seen my Mira ='( I cant wait for this week to end so i can see her again. Im practally counting teh minutes until i can see her =( Its about 6000 minutes if you care ='( I figured that it was due time for me t fet into shape today. So a few hours ago i took my bike out for a spin. 20 minutes and roughly 4 miles later. Im back at home, absolutly eaten alive and tired. i have a lack of feeling in my legs, 'tis grand. Im really tired, and Adium is being a pain in the ass. What program goes through 7+ betas before v1? mmhmmm...shower then bed

comments: Leave a comment

April 6th, 2006

Subject: Ah yes, another Thursday in the Life. Time: 11:32 pm Current Mood: bored/tired

Im bored so im updating this thing [maybe Bridget will read it since she lives on LiveJournal =P] Yea, school was terrible fun, Becky paid/is paying me to drive her to and from school today and tomorrow so i picked her up and still got to school "on time." After school since Charlotte looked really unhappy i asked her if she wanted a ride home. So i ended up giving both Becky and Charlotte a ride home...and Becky bought me ice cream =) After school i did like nothing until 6 when i had to go to the lady person that pays me under the table. I really dont like her. She is the least computer capabile person i have ever met. She cant even use the internet without assistance. Im surprised she knows how to use the microphone thats plugged into her computer. Then i came home after 2.5 hours and downloaded more stuff =) "QuickSilver","GraphicConverter", and "VLC" its like a weird video program. Theyre all Freeware though so its not a big deal [cough]Darren[cough]. ...Only 36 hours to go...i can make it...im not gonna go crazy in the process...

comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment

March 16th, 2006

Subject: Today Time: 10:14 pm Current Mood: tired

hahahahaha...today was fun Right, at the beginning of school, i got a check to pay for my car repair (Someone hit me, if you didnt already know), a check for $2,236.00. I was carrying that arond all day. And just before i left my house today, i grabbed my tax return check for $128. So, fine, i had $2350 in checks made out to me on me today, no big deal. I had to borrow a dollar from 2 different peopel today too to buy my religiously bought bottles of water haha. Block 1 rolls around and it was amazing as usual when i have it free =) Nothing really interesting happened between then and Block 7 except that i got my German Test back and i didnt get a 16 like i thought. I got a 55! YES! Thats pretty good for me in German haha. Block 7: I roll out to Middlesex Savings. I deposit my tax return check and get a Treasuer's Check for $2,020.00 to pay my mother back for when she charged my PowerBook. I got 35 bucks back from my tax return check, so im usign that for funds for the week and to pay those 2 people back. When i get back to school, i shove the 2 $2,000+ checks in my center console and get a shit parking spot near the end of the lot. When i lock my car and start to walk back to school, i see someone get in there car and pull out of one of the best spots in the lot and im like "Ha ha ha ha, Im all over that!" So i get bck in my car and steal that spot =) End of school: I say bye bye to my gf, get in my car and drive off to Cambridge Trust to cash the check for my car repair: I go up to teh guy and ask if they charge for Treasurer's Checks, he said since i didnt have an account there, i couldnt due to the Patroit Act (I love our country): "Fine, whatever, ill just take hundreds then" ha ha ha ha.....yea So the guy hands me 22 $100 bills, a $20, a $10, a $5, and a $1. I fold them in half and shove em in my pocket. Now, while i say this next part, keep in mind i have $2,236 in cash on me: I had to park away from the bank since there were no parking spots. I parked like 1/2 block or so from it. I had to cross though a houseing project district sortve area where the people stood on there stoops smoking or drinking. Now, i was paranoid that someone was gonna come up behind me and mug me....all the while thinking "Shit Shit Shit....im gonna get mugged....Shit Shit Shit...." I make it to my car without getting mugged, thank god. I then head beck to Sudbury to deposit the cash into my Middlesex Savings account. I got to the bank (without getting mugged) and there was only one teller open, the same one that issued my Treasurer's Check to pay back my mommy. I hand her the deposit slip and she just looks at me, i knew she knew i was there like 1 hour earlier. She probably thinks im stealing money or something haha. A withdrawl on my account for over 2,000 dollars in the form of a check and a deposit of over 2,000 dollars in the form of cold, hard cash in less then an hour, haha. Haha, yea, fun day. At one point i was responsible for over $4,000 in checks haha. I had over $4,000 in checks on me...its a good thing i didnt get mugged...

comments: Leave a comment

March 10th, 2006

Subject: Friday has arrived Time: 11:28 pm Current Mood: loved

!!!!! Oh em gee! Today was amazing!! I dont beleive in saying names on LJ but heres a paraprase of what happened [without saying names of course]: 1: School, we were both counting the hours until it was over 2: School ends and i do stuff like run to teh bank and stuff to kill an hour 3: I head over to her house [!!!] 4: I get there and we go on a walk on a trail 5: We end up in a clearing and lets just say we had alot of firsts there [wow, that didnt sound sexual or sketchy at all now did it?] and lots of other stuff. I really dont want to spell it all out haha, itll take too long, itll be all mushy and gushy, and itll be really weird for all my friends to read it haha So yea: I love her so much ♥ I just hope she loves me just as much =)

comments: Leave a comment

February 28th, 2006

Subject: ... Time: 05:52 pm Current Mood: ugh

My life is such a joke. Yay, i finally get over her to the point where i can be around her without being beside myself. Then, a little girl comes by, who is awesome and like a lot, freindly and romanticly, says how she likes me. yes, good at first glance. look deeper...she has a bf...and she likes both of us hahahaha...i hate myself

comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment

February 22nd, 2006

Subject: PowerBook Time: 08:57 pm Current Mood: excited

Wheee!!! I finally got my PowerBook! Its so sexy, you have no idea. In other news: Im still suffering from affection withdrawal, however, i do believe i am over her =) The real test will come when i see her next...

comments: Leave a comment

February 14th, 2006

Subject: valentines day Time: 03:44 pm Current Mood: sad/upset

damnit i hate my life I have finally come to realize that she doesnt like me in that way at all, even hardly "as a friend" as she had previosly said. I have enough experiance in this field to realize when im being lied to and its not fun. Not unless she is drastically different then every other girl that thought they were sly and could put something past me, shes lieing to me like every other one. I didnt want anything today from anyone excpet her, all i wanted was a hug and a kiss on the cheek to reassume me she was still interested. I only got a hug. Only because i gave her something. what a load of crap. Tomorrow is my birthday and some goes for ir, i dont want anything but a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Thats not so much to ask is it? The vow is tomorrow...i really dont want to, but i must to rest my soul of this burden my fricken life has bistowed upon me...

comments: Leave a comment

February 11th, 2006

Subject: as the days trickle by,,, Time: 10:44 pm Current Mood: Kinda sad

The day comes ever closer, i fear that my hopes are being raised for no reason. I dont desearve to be happy...why should someone who hates themself be happy? there is no answer to that question, all "why" questions have no answer, and if someone does answer one, theyre lieing. But she contradicts that question. If we do become a couple i will be happy, i can not say whether i will still hate myself, but i will be happy being able to hold and kiss her... ... ...What a life some people have...I fear the one thing going for me, my romantic fire, is smoldering out due to lack of affection. 90% of the people i know jsut cant understand how much being able to live romanticly really means to me, the ones i even explain it to still dont get it... I wish for a girl that has just as big a romantic fire as me and will love me with all her heart. Is that really so much to ask?...things are kinda on the fence with her, but if things do happen, i sure hope to god she has a romantic streak...that way i could settle right in with her [almost definatly not for life, but for a lasting relationship]. ...I really hope she does...If she does and things go in a positive direction, that would just make my life. Literally. Nothing else would matter at that point... But at this point, i just hope i get a kiss on valentines day, the only damn day of teh year i kinda look forward to for what it signifys and how it really spells out who i am. It doesnt even have to be be on the lips. A kiss on the cheek would be plently to make me feel elated for the rest of the month...=(

comments: Leave a comment

February 7th, 2006

Subject: Valentines Day Time: 04:38 pm Current Mood: sad

Well, i finally got over her, but as fate would have it, another girl moseyed right into her place. Naturally this would happen. As a mutual friend says, she kinda likes me. "As a friend" as it was put, which loosely translates into: 'I fucked up. Again.' This saddens me because shes seems to be a very natural girl. One who doesnt wear a lot [if any] make-up and loose fitting clothes. Which is exactaly what im looking for. I dont know. Im on the verge of making a blood vow to stay away from girls if nothing positive happens with her before Valentines day. Cause theres my best chance for something to happen. If it doesnt happen by then, its not gonna happen at all. Darren doesnt think ill be able to hold it. I said 3 simple lines to him: "I dont need to hold it. I only need to exist. The rest handles itself." Im like about to cry im so upset i f'ed this one up. She seemed like the same kinda person im looking for: Pretty, natural, intelligent, friendly, and [I dont know this one for sure] Compassionate. Im gonna go to bed now. Its a good thing i dont have work today...

comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment

January 26th, 2006

Subject: ... Time: 01:47 pm Current Mood: sad

If anyone cares, im suffering from affection withdrawal until further notice

comments: Leave a comment